nobody wants a messy gerbil

get the fucking honey off my refrigerator.
it's been there since last year and
you can't seem to figure out that
i won't touch it.
i won't.
you made the mess, now clean it up.
i thought about getting a dog to clean it,
but we can't have one because
of your stupid allergies.
what kind of a man is allergic to dogs?
you're probably gay.
so get some rubber gloves
like a woman
and clean up the honey.
grab some soap and a dish rag,
put those dainty arms to work
and clean it up.
or hire someone else.
get a damn gerbil for all i care.
just don't come crying to me
when someone sucks as much at cleaning as you do
at keeping your honey off the fridge.
hell, hire a gerbil, throw it on top,
and let it go to town.
Google said gerbils love honey.
so get up off your ass, drive to the pet store
and buy us a damn gerbil.

that's how i get what i want.