"Always Midnight"

I've become increasingly more frustrated with people in general lately, mostly in regard to religion.

College has been both a blessing and a curse for my spiritual growth. I've been thrown into situations I never would have encountered in Boonville, which absolutely made me figure out where I am with God. But at the same time, I don't really feel like I've done enough to figure things out. I've yet to find a church that makes me want to wake up on Sunday mornings. Every campus group I've been to is more about their public image than actually doing anything productive. And the people I've found myself being around that call themselves Christians just don't seem to think remotely the same as me.

Honestly, I get tired of the cliches. "Pray for me so I'll do well on my test." "That boy needs Jesus in his life!" And then the people who have Jesus penciled in all the time--the people who go to Bible studies all the time and never miss a Sunday and church and preach to people on street corners. And I don't have anything against these people...

Except for the fact that every single one of those people that I've met in college have been absolute assholes.

I just don't think someone is getting the point. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's them. One of the things that drove me away from the campus group I used to be super excited about is that the people just didn't get the point. They preached this message of inclusion and love and fellowship and acceptance, but every time I'd try to talk to them, nothing happened because I wasn't in their group. I didn't fit their stereotype--either I wasn't the right "type" of person for them or I wasn't in their Bible study. And the people who finally did take a chance and got to know me just left me high and dry after a few weeks.

And this isn't meant to rip them apart. I'm sure they're doing great things without me. But this doesn't seem to just be in one particular campus group. I've found myself in countless debates on Facebook--which in itself if pretty childish in a way--that have put two contrasting views at each other and just let the different sides rip the other the shreds. All in the name of Christ?

Like I said, I don't know if I'm the one missing the point or if it's everyone else. And I'm definitely not saying that I've got the answers and I have some sort of revelation from God that is telling me what the point actually is. All I know is that whatever we're doing isn't working, and maybe it's time to do something different.