"Forget and Not Slow Down"

"I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it"

-- "Forget and Not Slow Down" by Relient K

I remember when I first heard this song last semester, I immediately fell in love with it. And today I was reminded of its message about leaving the past behind and embracing what's ahead. It seems like the past always wants to come back to haunt us, and there's nothing we can do about those things. This morning I heard from an old friend that ended our friendship bitterly, and what he said just made it sound like nothing happened between us.

My first reaction was full of anger. In fact, I wrote out all of my feelings cryptically and nearly posted them here until I realize that the person that I've become wouldn't do that--but the old me would. The person that couldn't handle things the way I can now, the person who dealt with confrontation by dealing with it himself instead of confronting the other person.

Because of the events that transpired before, I'm not approaching him again. Those days are over. But the important part is to continue growing up and finding better ways to deal with them, and being real with yourself when you have those moments where you want to be immature. I wanted to seek revenge for the events of the past, but then I had to admit to myself that this is not what I want anymore. And maybe posting this has a little bit of that old self attached, but as far as I can tell this is just an attempt to be honest with myself and show anyone who reads this that they're not alone in trying to fight with old habits.

The important thing to remember in all of this is that life does, in fact, go on.