changes

things are gonna change now for the better.

"dismantle. repair." has been one of my favorite songs for a while now, probably since the day i heard it. it seems for follow me around every time i go through a period of hard times, and this has been no exception. for a long time, i've been expecting something new to happen, to feel something new, but i've been disappointed so far. until a few days ago: for the first time, i felt things getter better.

this semester has been a whirlwind. the more i think about it, the more i'm amazed by how much has changed in such a short amount of time. my musical taste has shifted, i've gotten a little more direction in my life, i've gained new interests and lost old ones, i've made new friends, i've learned how to deal with new situations, and most importantly, i've grown into myself.

not that i need to do any more growing anywhere, because i'm a big boy. but that's part of it too--i'm starting to just be comfortable with who i've become. i'm not proud of it and i'm still trying to do something about the physical stuff, but while i'm in this awkward transition period (well, i hope it's a transition anyway) i'm just going to be myself.

i used to be the guy with his heart on his sleeve, and i feel like i've been covering that up for the last year, and when i finally let go, i really let go. for the first time in a while, people have been able to tell when things are bothering me, and i like that about myself. i have people who care about me and can tell when something is wrong.

i'm not really sure where this is supposed to go. i guess i just wanted to let whoever reads this know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. all it takes is a little faith that you can make it there.