nobody wants a messy gerbil

get the fucking honey off my refrigerator.
it's been there since last year and
you can't seem to figure out that
i won't touch it.
i won't.
you made the mess, now clean it up.
i thought about getting a dog to clean it,
but we can't have one because
of your stupid allergies.
what kind of a man is allergic to dogs?
you're probably gay.
so get some rubber gloves
like a woman
and clean up the honey.
grab some soap and a dish rag,
put those dainty arms to work
and clean it up.
or hire someone else.
get a damn gerbil for all i care.
just don't come crying to me
when someone sucks as much at cleaning as you do
at keeping your honey off the fridge.
hell, hire a gerbil, throw it on top,
and let it go to town.
Google said gerbils love honey.
so get up off your ass, drive to the pet store
and buy us a damn gerbil.

that's how i get what i want.

"After You're Gone"

I've been having some weird dreams lately. For the first time in my history of remembered dreams, I died in a dream for the first time. I was all excited because I had finally bought a record player and we were driving back to my house when the car coming from the other direction started shooting at us. Luckily, we were in a heavily armed van, so we took our positions with our armaments and fought to the death. Well, I fought to my death at least--I'm not sure who really won, but the moral of the story is apparently for me to not get a record player.

My most recent one was where I had a little sister who was an even little tyke who wanted to keep a ferret and a parrot in the same cage. I repeatedly told her that it was a bad idea, but the maniacal little thing knew what was going to happen and did it anyway. The possessed child threw the parrot into the ferret's cage and happily watched the ferret rip the bird to pieces, and then she turned into a huge lizard monster.

And then I woke up.

Anywho, not much to report beyond that. I saw a terrible German movie on Sunday for my G250 class--which could have been the inspiration for the terrible lizard dream if I hadn't dreamt it first. It was about three kids living in the village of Stalina, which basically worshiped Joseph Stalin. One of the boys was a ridiculous masochist, the little girl just random recited poetry throuhought the movie (she was more annoying than Dakota Fanning in War of the Worlds), and then the other kid was just annoying. And liked rainbows. The movie wasn't too bad, except for the completely unnecessary nudity and violent animal skinning and beheadings and such. I mean, the opening scene was the girl talking by a tree, and then the shot zooming out to show mannequins hanging like dead bodies from the tree. And that was the least violent part of the film.

Creepy girl.

Other than that, not much to report. I guess that isn't a bad thing though; still waiting for results for DCI and my supervisor interview though. That's kind of nerve-wracking. And I have one test down, so that's helpful as well.

Until next time...

"We've Never Known"

Well, the semester has certainly come along swimmingly since I've returned to Bloomington.

Big news: by the end of next week, I should hear back from both Drum Corps International about the internship program there and I should get a decision about whether or not I got the supervisor position for tech support here. To distract myself, I've been trying to stay as busy as possible, including subbing into a ton of shifts. I'm already at 24 hours next week and I'm bidding on another eight, so things should stay busy if I do wind up getting those.

Tonight is pretty packed as well, as I'll be doing some interviews and getting some footage from Windfall Dancers here in town, and hopefully talk to one of the women who works with Bloomington High School South's color guard. They don't have a winter guard program and they don't compete in ISSMA, but I'm not sure how flexible the idea of winter program would be. I would love to get that started, but we'll definitely have to see how things work out. I may not even get the chance to work with them, but this seems like the most likely route.

Academically, the next few weeks will be insane. I've got a lot of tests and projects and other things to do, so I don't think I'll be sitting on my butt for very long in the coming weeks.

Just for funsies (actually, I'm doing this to piece together a decent demo reel for myself), feel free to check out a project I did last semester on my Vimeo account. It's uploading right now, so it should be available in a couple of hours.

"Softer To Me"

Well, this week definitely has not had any dull moments.

On Sunday night I proposed to Jenna two days after our six year anniversary at Copeland's final show in Chicago. Ever since then, I feel like everything has been running at light speed between seeing family and friends and doing the things that need to be done before I head home. It's been fun, don't get me wrong, but it'd be great to have a day to just sit around and watch movies or something.

Highlights of the week included:

• Seeing Copeland's final show in Chicago
• Proposing to Jenna
• Getting a congratulatory phone call from my future father-in-law (I NEVER saw that coming)
• Phone pre-interview with Drum Corps International about the summer internship
• Family trip to Nashville on Wednesday
• Seeing the family, Jenna, Andy, Lucas, Logan, and Erika all in one week
• Finding The Mystery Machine in the Barnes and Noble parking lot
• No video games for an entire week
• Started reading A Farewell to Arms, just for fun
• I actually accomplished the majority of the things on my to do list for the first time ever; the only things I didn't finish are things that I can't do until I get back to Bloomington

Lowlights of the week included:

• Definitely didn't finish my math assignment before the due date
• Definitely got ZERO homework done
• Everything in Nashville closed exactly fifteen minutes before we got there
• My ears being clogged up for the last three days
• The interview with News 25 wasn't what I expected; it was for news gathering more than actual production and I've yet to get a call from the production manager
• I've done horrible at drinking only tap water this week; it's much harder on break than it is at school
• I got practically NOTHING back on my taxes
• The CD drive on my MacBook is broken and I don't have time to get it fixed
• The crack on my MacBook has gotten bigger, so that will probably have to be fixed soon as well
• Finally found new jeans, but they're a size bigger than I wanted...

And I've still got the majority of Saturday left! Forward, Light Brigade!

"Too Much"

In the race of excess, sometimes I'm completely convinced that I'd win.

It's not that I think that I live extravagantly. I drive a car that may or may graduate with me, I still live in a smelly dorm room, and I've been making slightly over minimum wage for six years and I'm thousands of dollars in debt in student loans. My mother is unemployed and my father works in a coal mine. This isn't exactly a story of grand beginnings.

But I still find myself surrounded with stuff. And I'm not really sure how or why this happened. I've got more clothes than I know what to do with. I've got a list of songs on my iPod that I've never listened to that is probably longer than the entire collection of music of some people. I have movies that I've never watched or that I've watched once and never touched again. I've got video games that I may never play given my decreasing amount of free time.

This year I feel like I've gotten a sense of awareness that I've never had. I don't really think I know exactly what I'm aware of just yet, but I've been growing into new knowledge more than before. I complain about not having enough money for the things that I want, but there are people who don't have water to drink in Africa. In the grand scope of things, I've really got nothing to complain about.

"Always Midnight"

I've become increasingly more frustrated with people in general lately, mostly in regard to religion.

College has been both a blessing and a curse for my spiritual growth. I've been thrown into situations I never would have encountered in Boonville, which absolutely made me figure out where I am with God. But at the same time, I don't really feel like I've done enough to figure things out. I've yet to find a church that makes me want to wake up on Sunday mornings. Every campus group I've been to is more about their public image than actually doing anything productive. And the people I've found myself being around that call themselves Christians just don't seem to think remotely the same as me.

Honestly, I get tired of the cliches. "Pray for me so I'll do well on my test." "That boy needs Jesus in his life!" And then the people who have Jesus penciled in all the time--the people who go to Bible studies all the time and never miss a Sunday and church and preach to people on street corners. And I don't have anything against these people...

Except for the fact that every single one of those people that I've met in college have been absolute assholes.

I just don't think someone is getting the point. Maybe it's me, or maybe it's them. One of the things that drove me away from the campus group I used to be super excited about is that the people just didn't get the point. They preached this message of inclusion and love and fellowship and acceptance, but every time I'd try to talk to them, nothing happened because I wasn't in their group. I didn't fit their stereotype--either I wasn't the right "type" of person for them or I wasn't in their Bible study. And the people who finally did take a chance and got to know me just left me high and dry after a few weeks.

And this isn't meant to rip them apart. I'm sure they're doing great things without me. But this doesn't seem to just be in one particular campus group. I've found myself in countless debates on Facebook--which in itself if pretty childish in a way--that have put two contrasting views at each other and just let the different sides rip the other the shreds. All in the name of Christ?

Like I said, I don't know if I'm the one missing the point or if it's everyone else. And I'm definitely not saying that I've got the answers and I have some sort of revelation from God that is telling me what the point actually is. All I know is that whatever we're doing isn't working, and maybe it's time to do something different.

"Flood"

So for those of you that don't already know, I've decided to participate in Blood:Water Mission's 40 Days of Water from now until Easter Sunday. 40 Days of Water is a campaign where people give up drinking all liquids except tap water, but keep track of the money that they would have spent on other drinks. At the end of the 40 days, all the money that they would have spent on those drinks is instead donated to Africa, where wells can be built to provide safe drinking water for people where it's a 12-hour commitment a week just to find safe drinking water.

If you know me, you know that I drink Diet Coke like it's my job, so this is definitely one of the hardest things I could have have given up. But I decided that it was a great cause and would do me a lot of good for my own health. So I went for it.

The first few days were hard. I woke up that morning wanting my pick-me-up Diet Coke or big glass of chocolate milk. But instead I went down the hall to the water fountain. After my first boring class, I wanted to stop by the vending machine like I always do and grab a Diet Coke to help me stay awake. But instead I just filled up my water bottle one more time.

By the third day, it really wasn't a burden anymore. Yeah, whenever I was feeling a little less energetic, I'd pass a vending machine and hearing it quietly calling my name. But all in all, it wasn't nearly as bad as the first two days.

Sunday came around, and I decided to follow the calendar that allows you to have Sundays "off." As I dug into my math homework, I popped open a can of Diet Coke and at long last felt the sweet syrup running down my throat.

The funny thing was that after that first drink, I really just wanted my water bottle back. After drinking water for four days, anything less just didn't feel right. I felt cheated. I felt like I was abusing my body by ingesting such a sick liquid.

A week ago, I never would have said "man, I'd much rather have water than a Diet Coke." I'd gag at the thought of drinking water all day. But after being away from it, I'm starting to realize that my caffeine-hyped brain has been deceived for the last God-knows-how-long.

This got me thinking: what else is there that I think I can't live without, but would really be better off without? What else am I capable of doing that I have no idea I can accomplish?

What else is out there?

"Sweet Talk"

So much for updating this every day this year.

After seeing Cirque du Soleil's Alegria in Indianapolis last Thursday night, I'm pretty sure I want to make it one of my life goals to see all of the Cirque shows. Some of them just sound absolutely amazing, but they're in Europe right now so it doesn't do me much good at the moment. Of course, my honeymoon would be awesome if I got to consummate my marriage, visit Europe, and see Cirque all in one week. Yes, I went there.

My classes are really starting to get interesting now. I lost my German book this morning, so that's going to make the rest of my night more interesting as I try to track it down. To be on the safe side, I've rented a copy from Chegg.com since it was only ten bucks, but I'd much rather have my copy since I spent $120 on it. I honestly have no idea where I could have left it. I had it on Monday morning and I wouldn't have had any reason to take it out except in my room, but I've searched high and low in there and it has yielded absolutely no results.

I haven't been very good at going to my math class either, but I seem to be teaching it to myself well enough so far. I was planning on going today, but my tour got over at 1:20, and five minutes of rushing through the snow just wasn't worth it, so I ate lunch in Wright instead. Yeah, I know. But the midterm is a week from Saturday, so that will give me a definitive answer of how well I'm doing this whole teaching myself math bit.

My website is coming along swimmingly. I'm working on a Photoshop project now, which is going to be pretty interesting. I'm updating the site I made last week and instead of having text on the side, it's going to be an image with information about me. Woohoo! Audio production is just sweet. We got to mess around with an unreleased song that our professor is mixing, and in addition to doing a mix for a grade, he gave us an extra credit opportunity if we remixed the song. Definitely the best extra credit project ever.

Intro to New Testament is starting to get interesting. Not the topics, but the class itself. We had our first exam on Tuesday, which I feel moderately okay about (there were a few things that I just didn't get), but we also got our first papers back as well. Apparently one of the AI's graded a lot harder than the other, because I got an A on the paper and people who had their paper graded by the other AI were getting D's. I know I'm a former English major and all, but that's ridiculous.

Looking ahead to this weekend: home visit. And my continuation of 40 days of drinking only tap water. Hopefully I'll write more about that in my next blog.

"We Don't Eat"

I think this is the first time I've felt good at the end of a Monday.

Following the Super Bowl (I'm not talking about it... I'm upset as a Colts fan, but as a fan of karma New Orleans really deserved something good for a change), I spent the entire night taking care of Jenna and working on my German take-home test and my website, and finished just in time for a half hour nap before my 9:05 German class. German went swimmingly, and I managed to survive most of the class without being horribly lost, which is the first time that has happened this semester.

Following that, I hung out in the telecom building to finish my assignment for my last class and... APPLY FOR THE DCI INTERNSHIP! It felt good to finally send off my resume and cover letter, and I could not be more excited for this internship. It's absolutely perfect for me, so I'm absolutely going all out. Hopefully they like me enough to interview me and eventually pick me, which would basically make my life. You really have no idea... An entire summer of watching drum corps and working behind the scenes, flying off to the big shows in cities I've only dreamed about, just to watch more drum corps. And I'll get to work at finals in Indianapolis, which will be amazing.

Woo, back to my day... Which seems so dull after that little rant... In my second class, the professor was sick, so the AI took over. He began with this: "Well, I got an e-mail from Norbert at about 1 am and then I realized, 'Oh shit, I have to do lecture now.' So... I'm gonna get you out of here, mmkay?" The lecture was literally seven minutes long, and he probably covered the material just as well as the normal professor would have done in an hour and fifteen minutes.

The short class allowed me to finish up a nice chunk of my assignment, which allowed me to go to my math class for what I believe is the third time this semester. We got our tests back and I got an 82/100, mostly because I'm retarded and they don't give partial credit. In a somewhat-lengthy problem, at the very end I stupidly thought that 3x3 was 6 instead of 9, so I canceled out the last fraction wrong, and my wrong answer was one of the choices. And then I subtracted wrong on another one and was 1 off, so there was another 6 points.

But at least I made it to class, and I'll be in relatively good shape for the mid-term, which is good news.

After that I finished my assignment just in time to SIGN THE LEASE FOR MY APARTMENT! I'm so pumped. And nobody is fighting me for the single room, so I'll finally have a room to myself, which I've wanted for the last three years. It'll be the smallest room, but at least I'll have my own space and I won't have to worry about someone else's messes.

Audio production was really fun tonight. We're doing music editing now, which is right up my alley. Our next assignment is to mix a song that he's been hired to mix, so it's not even out right now and we just get to play with all the different tracks in Pro Tools. Then after doing what he wants us to do with the song (so he knows that we know how to do certain things), he said we can get five extra points for just making our own remix of the song. And I know exactly what I want to do with it because there's this really pretty piano/cello bit that gets completely buried in the song, and I really want to build my mix around that.

Overall, I'm just really excited about today.

But now I have to read. Oh well, good things can't last forever.

"Wheel in the Sky"

I've got to stop going back to sleep after I wake up...

I was planning on going to church in the morning, and I set my alarms for 5 minute increments after 8am (yes, it takes that many to wake me up, don't judge). I woke up at 7:20am, so I figured I'd take advantage of the extra 40 minutes since I stayed up late watching a compelling documentary on Machu Picchu on PBS (again, I'm being completely serious--it was AWESOME). And of course, I had a really bizarre dream.

For some reason, my mother and I were driving somewhere beyond Elletsville from Bloomington--my guess was something guard-related since all of my good dreams are guard-related. This was no ordinary car, however. The steering wheel was movable, but the pedals were on the left side of the car. So we had this brilliant idea that since she was tired of driving, she would work the pedals and I would use the steering wheel. Brilliant, right?

Naturally, a storm came during one of the most windy parts of the road. We slid off the road, but thanks to some quick thinking I got us back onto the road in one piece.

And then a go-kart fell from the sky and directly into my windshield.

Yeah. Awesome.

Then I woke up and realized it was 10:45. Church started at 10:15 and McDonald's breakfast ended at 10:30. Needless to say, I was disappointed on all accounts.